Since I've had to remove caffeine from my life, I've tried dozens of decaf teas. All are pallid, many have a peculiar ashy taste that I've observed in some low-quality tea. Even double-bagging it (or double-scooping loose tea) doesn't change the bare fact: something that gives black tea its richness and body appears to go away when the tea is decaffeinated. Flavored teas, while never my favorite, are the best substitute I've found so far; whether the bergamot, spices, or mango flavoring adds a little body, covers the ashy taste, or both I don't know. From ordering my tea online via British Express, I've gone to picking up a box of Bigelow's decaf Constant Comment at the local grocer. It's almost as shameful as switching from Peet's to 7-11.

The best decaf Earl Grey I've found is a loose tea by an outfit in Connecticut called "Harney & Sons". After trying that and liking it, I was trembling with excitement to try their bagged ceylon. It had had good reviews. Maybe I had finally found something I could drink with that gut-deep sigh of enjoyment that Lyons used to give me! The color in the cup was OK, the fragrance a bit worrisome. And the taste... ashy. Sigh.

The good news is that without my minimum requirement of two strong cups of Lyons per day, one in the morning and one sometime between 1-4pm, I'm drinking a lot more herbal teas - and drinking them without the feeling that
I'm missing something. When I'm ill, I can get up in the morning and immediately drink something good for me, without having to put my kidneys aswim by double fisting it - a cup of "real" tea in my right hand, "health" tea in my left. Since the decaf teas just don't compare to the real thing, I can dispense with them effortlessly (and look Ma - no headache!).

Chai is another drink that is almost as good decaf. True, proper chai, made with a black tea that can stand boiling like the exquisite Zawadi African tea and Indian chai masala, is a thick drink you can practically stand a spoon up in. That's not the chai I'm talking about. Chai as you'd get in a cafe, thinner, often more peppery, can substitute decaf without too much change in flavor. Herbal chais will vary depending on the spices used, and will be as much a matter of personal taste as any herbal teas. At home, using chai masala and decaf tea, honey and plenty of Straus organic milk,chai is a decent drink.

Now coffee. The good news for me is that while years ago I was a serious coffee drinker (I can still picture the daily morning scene of two giant mugs side by side on the stove, each with their Melitta cone stuffed with fresh-ground Santa Cruz Coffee Roasting Company fare... my husband in the shower, me tending the the kettle...), I switched to tea for my daily drink before my son was born 8 years ago. Or maybe that's not good news for me. Decaf coffee seems to have had a lot more effort put into quality than decaf tea has. Or perhaps those things about coffee that make it satisfying aren't so easily lost in the decaffeination process. Or both.

Having gotten out of the habit of drinking coffee, and not being a regular cafe goer (unlike my spouse with his daily Peet's habit), my exposure to decaf coffee is limited to the slight twinge of embarrassment I feel when asking for decaf in a breakfast restaurant. "I'm a wuss" I always want to say. Or if I'm feeling less wussy & more jokey, "I'm sensitive". It's a fact that at least in the place we always go for Sunday breakfast, if you are drinking decaf your cup only gets filled half as often. I don't know whether you aren't perceived as needing it as much - as being less likely to go ballistic if faced with an empty cup for more than a few seconds - or that it's just a pain to make the rounds with 2 pots and so half the rounds are made without that orange-topped pot in hand. Not only do I have to suffer embarrassment, I suffer 2nd class service as well.

Here's another embarrassing truth: we have become great consumers (even my fully caffeinated husband), of a beverage we call "pretend coffee". The most common variety is called Cafix, but there are many others: Postum, Roma, Inka, Pero, Dacopa, Dandy Blend. All are a powder made from roasted grains, roots etc. such as barley, chicory, figs, beets, or dandelion root. As they blend instantly into hot water, they are far simpler and faster to make than coffee or tea, and are quite tasty. HOWEVER, these "pretend coffees" are like carob. I love carob. But if I'm expecting to bite into a big chocolate something, and it turns out to be carob, I'm going to be disappointed, because I love chocolate even more and it has those oh-so-special chemicals that make you feel good. If you want and need coffee, a cup of Cafix is going to seem like a cruel joke. But if it's late in the evening and you want a little something hot and roasty, Cafix is more satisfying than a cup of herbal tea. Especially with a little rum added.

I miss my Lyons tea. I don't miss my heart racing, my thoughts going 'round and 'round, my mouth feeling dry, and my temper being erratic. Most people don't have those problems with caffeine, but I did, and I had to quit. Quitting caffeine has certainly opened my tastes to greater variety, and the pleasure of not being addicted. But still... what wouldn't I give for a truly good cup of decaffeinated black tea? Name your price, it would be worth it.